Tag Archives: the interweb

things that are much cooler now than they were before

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This is the nerdy internet edition of TTAMCNTTWB

1. Favicons.  For those of you who don’t know, favicon is that little image at the top of the browser, next to the name of the website.  It’s the tiny purple “f” on the Facebook site, the peace sign on Craigslist, the red “M” envelope on Gmail.  They’re called favicons because they are icons that show up on your Favorites list, obviously.  Favicons used to be a great idea, terribly executed.  Originally they were .ico files, which were specially designed by Microsoft.  Which meant that you had to make the icon with some Microsoft Icon Maker program, which meant that a lot of sites didn’t have favicons because they didn’t want to use Microsoft’s stupid program.  Also, there was no HTML support for favicons; originally you just put them in the root directory of your website and, I guess, the browser was supposed to say, “Hey, that’s a favicon!  Woo!” and save it for you.  This led to lots of inconsistencies.  Sometimes a favicon would work on my bookmarks, sometimes it wouldn’t.  Other times, I would have the wrong favicon for a certain site, or multiple sites would use the same favicon, which was the wrong one.

But now … now favicons have W3C support, and their own little bit of HTML, and they sit and stay perfectly on your browser, which means I can move on to my next point:

2. Bookmark Toolbars.  Now that favicons work so well, I don’t need to label my bookmarks in the bookmark toolbar anymore!  I can just have the icon sit there, instantly telling me which site is which.  This means that I can put twice, if not three times as many bookmarks on the toolbar, saving me, oh, about two seconds of navigation time, which is silly but still pretty awesome.  Another thing that helps me with this new awesomeness is

3. Better ALT tags!  ALT tags are the little popups that show up when you hover over a link, or an image, or a bookmark.  These used to suck.  I won’t go into detail, but just take it from me when I say they used to suck.  They were poorly supported, and sometimes were just worthless.  But now, if I forget what a particular bookmark is on my toolbar, I can hover over it and it’ll show me the URL, and I’ll instantly remember.  Thanks, ALT tags!

4. RSS feeds.  Again, another thing that was implemented before people really understood how awesome it is.  RSS feeds are like newspaper articles, and you’re building your own newspaper.  You pick and choose what you want to read, and set it up through RSS feeds.  Google, as always, has an excellent application called Google Reader which handles RSS feeds so well, you won’t need anything else.  And if you use Blogger to blog, the blogs that you follow show up on Google Reader automatically.  It’s almost magic.

5. Email.  Email used to suck compared to IMing.  But now both are integrated and everything is awesome.  That’s all I have to say about that, I just wanted to have five items instead of four.

Now, if only Torrents could be as cool as these things are now, the world would be a better place.  Someday, Torrents … someday.

job update 2008

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Jason’s horribly slanderous comment on a particular Facebook status of mine has reminded me that I should probably write a little update regarding my job hunting.

In short, the news is good.  Trying to find a job through Craigslist is kind of like navigating a maze, complete with dead ends, odd twists and turns, and the occasional axe-wielding psychopath.  The sad thing though is that it’s easier to navigate than CareerBuilder or Monster, which have become bloated, egomaniacal worthless shells of what they once were, and should be now.  CL is good because it just shows me jobs.  CareerBuilder wants me to sign up for things, or wants to recommend jobs for me because it thinks it’s better than me.  Well you’re not, CareerBuilder.  I am better than you, for I am a human and you are a program on the internet.

I’ve sent lots of e-mail replies, and in doing so have experimented with proper e-mail responses.  Too much information or too little?  Should I put my name in there as soon as possible, or just leave it at the end of the e-mail?  Should I tell them I’m not wearing pants?  Surely at some point in the sit down interview they will notice.  All of these questions raced through my head as I sent reply after reply.  To anyone.  From dishwashers to manufacturers to tutors and gardeners.  I tried not to send replies to positions in which I had no experience, but sometimes I get desperate.  I sent no replies to telemarketers or appointment setters, and none to sales.  The thing about these jobs is that they will always hire you, because they’re the worst jobs, in that they require you to manipulate people to buy things they probably didn’t want to buy in the first place.  And that’s just wrong.

At some point I got really fed up with this process.  Why, the fuck, on websites, do I have to upload a resume AND fill out an application?  Why?  Why Safeway?  Why Rivermark Credit Union?  Why Barnes & Noble?  Don’t you take my word for it?  Do you not see the resume I have graciously uploaded for you?

Listen, employers: this is ridiculous, redundant, and really annoying.  If someone uploads a resume to your application process, they should be able to skip your application process.  They should be able to put “see resume” on there, just like they do on paper applications.  Stop being thoughtless jerks.  The last thing I want to do is memorize phone numbers for jobs I don’t work at anymore, for the sole purpose of not shooting my brains out after typing them in the nth online application.

Anyhoo.  So after a month of job surfing, I finally got a response.  A good one, too.  I think my reply was probably one of my “late stage” replies, which consists of me not giving a crap about my response, which ironically increases my appeal to employers.  Something about being suave, or … I don’t know.  I don’t care.  If I think about it I’ll jinx it.

(For the record, I have three stages of e-mail replies to potential employers: 1) Early Stage, which is where I am chipper and quick; 2) Late Stage, where I am long-winded and somewhat cynical; and 3) Dead Stage, where I say “Hey, I am interested in your job, here’s my resume” and that’s it.)

The job is with an online bookseller.  It is not Powells.  They, I think, buy books from people and sell them used.  Either way, they must’ve liked my e-mail (and now that I look at it in my glorious, glorious Gmail account, I was quite confident, almost to the point of cockiness).  I got a call for a phone interview, which was this morning around 11:30.  I bumbled my way through it, I thought, but the whole thing sounded exactly like the Hastings interview I did two years ago, so I knew what I was expecting.

At the end of the interview the lady said, “Well, we’ve got a couple more days of interviews, so we’ll get in contact with you,” which I expected.

Then, fifteen minutes later, she called back for a face-to-face interview on Wednesday. This I did not expect.

… Okay, I expected it a little bit.

Plus, in her e-mail to me giving me directions to the place, she wrote, “I enjoyed our phone conversation today regarding the Part-Time Shipping Associate Position”, which I’m pretty sure means that she’s into me.  Since I’m considering the phone conversation to be our first date, I think I’ll take her to a movie.  Maybe see some Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

(If you’re reading this, bookseller lady, I’m just kidding, and your bookstore looks like a great place to work.  Also, do you like pasta?  You do?  Great.  … What?  Oh, I’m just curious.  No, I’m writing something else completely unrelated to pasta into this notebook.  It’s a … uh, a note.  For a friend.  Who likes pasta.  I mean doesn’t like pasta.  I mean has nothing to do with pasta.)

Anyway, that’s it.  I plan on going to this interview on Wednesday and knocking some socks off, whatever the hell that means.  Wish me luck!

oh google, you are the greatest thing ever

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In a capitalist society, people fear monopolies because it means that one company or corporation has complete control of something that people want, so they can charge however much they want for said thing. Like if I was the sole distributor of toothpicks, I could charge fifty bucks per toothpick if I wanted, and there would be nothing you could do about it!

But the truth is that monopolies are everywhere (clearchannel? cableone/comcast? microsoft? intermountain gas? for you idahoans), and they exist through loopholes, and it sucks. But on the Internet, everything changes.

Google is a monopoly. No, they’re more than a monopoly. They are somehow a polymonopoly. They do so many different things so much better than everyone else that it’s sickening. They’ve taken the ashes of shitty web ideas only to birth beautiful fiery phoenixes that shoot fire out of their eyeballs and set flame to … really shitty things. Remember Geocities? Remember how big a pile of shit that was?

Geoshitties (haha, I just made that up, okay not really), for those of you who were born in the 1990s, was essentially a precursor to myspace, in the sense that everyone had one and they all induced epileptic seizures with their bright colors and flashing animated gifs. They were little websites that you could horribly fuck up any way you wished. And since HTML back then was relatively simple (Web 1.0?), anyone could easily make their font REALLY REALLY BIG and REALLY REALLY YELLOW.

Well one day Google decided to make Google Pages, which are just like Geocities pages except more awesomer.  Pre-designed templates almost guarantee that your average soccer mom won’t mess up making her dream website about macrame and cookie recipies.  And HTML and coding is so much more confusing, with CSS and PHP and fuckin Drupal shit that people will stare at the HTML and say, “I ain’t messing with that,” allowing Google to totally control the design of your page.  Smart smart.

Remember Hotmail? Or Yahoo mail? Or any other mail that looks like a little girl compared to how awesome Gmail is?  Hotmail boasted 5MB storage limits back in the day.  Then one day Gmail came along and said, “Hey Hotmail.  Way to be a girl about things.  We’re going to give people two GIGS worth of storage.  And then, just to be jerks, we’re going to continually add more space, in small but steady increments, until one day we give each Gmail user an entire Internet worth of space.  Think about it.  It’s like getting your own Universe, Hotmail.  Way to be behind the times.”

And of course Hotmail and Yahoo have tried to compensate, but they fail.  They just fail.  And now Gmail connects to AIM which means I never ever have to have AIM installed on my computer ever again.  Plus, the other day I realized that I can have my Gmail account CHECK MY OTHER GMAIL ACCOUNTS FOR ME.  That’s right, I just add the other e-mail addresses and Gmail looks them up for me, and even labels which e-mail comes from which address.  If Gmail were a human female, she would be foxy, and she would be my wife.

Remember Mapquest?  Microsoft thought they were being all cool by allowing people to figure out where shit was on a map.  But it was a little buggy, and sometimes it would give horrible directions, but it’s all that was there, right?  And there’s no way you could improve a map.  Who improves a map?

I’ll tell you who does:  GOOGLE DOES.  Google Maps are directly connected to secret CIA satellites in geosynchonous orbit high over the Earth.  They have incredibly accurate directions, and include public transit and even walking as alternate methods of direction-finding (a not to subtle hint, I think, that you should get off your ass and start walking places).  And then they thought, “Hey, why not just drive down every street in America and take pictures?  That’s easy right?”  And so the Street View was born, and with it, embarrassing pictures of middle-aged women going out to get the paper in the morning, or guys shooting up meth in front of their house, or you, in a children’s sized swimming pool, in a wifebeater, drinking a beer and picking your nose as you casually look at the camera with that “You can’t judge me” look on your face.  Priceless!  Priceless I say!

Look!  They have a website dedicated to finding these pictures!  I am aghast.

And then Google said, “Maps?  We can do better than that,” and they created Google Earth.

I’m assuming on the seventh day they rested.

Oh, and let’s not forget Google Chrome, their new web browser.  I’m using it right now, as a matter of fact.  Think of it this way: everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was all about Firefox.  When Firefox came out people went nuts.  It was amazing!  It had add-ons!  It had tabs!  ooh tabs!  And us oldschool web users said, “It reminds us of Netscape!” which was nice.

Well Google was not to be outdone.  They totally redesigned how browsers work.  Now each tab is a separate process, meaning that each page you have tabbed is essentially a program in itself.  That means if a tab containing a flash video freezes on you, Chrome itself DOESN’T freeze.  Only THAT TAB freezes.  And Chrome even tells you this!  It says, “Hey, man, this tab fucked up.  Can we close it for you?” and you’re like, “Yes Google Chrome, you can!” and it’s like, “Hey, thanks.  Listen, I’ve been meaning to ask, but would you like to go out and get a beer tonight?”  and you’re like, “What?  You’re a computer!” and it’s like, “Oh yeah.  I keep forgetting because I’m SO AWESOME.”

All I’m saying is that if Chrome supports addons someday, especially Adblock, I will never have to have sex with a woman again. I was such a huge Firefox fan, too. But now in comparison their browser sucks. It just sucks! It’s slow and doesn’t reallocate memory that well! I mean, come on! I’m sorry, Firefox, but you’ve got some work to do now!

What else does Google do better than anyone else?  GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF!  They’re not afraid to boast about their gigantic e-penis.  They own Blogger, for Chrissakes.  They own what I am writing this blog onto!  They own it!  In a way they own me!

AND LOOK AT THIS!

THEY HAVE PADDINGTON BEAR ON THEIR FRONTPAGE RIGHT NOW.

How … how … it’s Paddington Bear!  Look at him!  He’s holding a suitcase!  He’s obviously moving to either London or Peru!  OH GOD THE CUTENESS STINGS MY EYES.

Okay, I had a reason for this blog post but I can’t remember it because Google is too awesome.  All they need is a social networking site and they will officially Rule the Internet.

… I really did have a reason for this post but I forgot it.  Oh well.

super luigi world returns! … in a week

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I oftentimes find myself on the fringe of things, looking in like a participating bystander. Like a reporter, in a lot of ways — not in the vein of Hunter S. Thompson, except not as awesome as him and definitely not as drug-addled. But in high school I wasn’t exceptionally invested in any one thing, with the exception of theatre, I guess, but that was more like I belonged there than I was trying to get in. I couldn’t not be in theatre. If I wasn’t acting in high school I probably would’ve been the most depressed kid in the world. But I digress.

Six years ago I created a comic called Super Luigi World, by compiling a bunch of “sprite sheets” (which are essentially pictures of every single movement a character could perform in a Nintendo game) and then cutting and pasting certain poses into MS Paint, which became frames, which became comics. I have this really excellent bad habit of doing creative things when I have nothing else to do. It’s good because if I’m bored, I’ll do something creative (which is not to be confused with depressed or down … if I’m depressed I’ll do nothing). The bad part is that it takes up so much of my time that I tend not to do what needs to be done, e.g. looking for work, doing housework or schoolwork … generally any type of work.

I worked on SLW off and on for three years, got one chapter done and was working on the second when I just lost track of it and ended up stopping mid-chapter, which is what I tend to do with my writing most of the time. I also made a couple of other sprite comics, which fared better because they were only a few pages long. Well, recently I had a conversation with my friend Casey at /orate, who draws amazing comics using just MSPaint, and that conversation turned into making comics, and long story short, I challenged him to start drawing comics if I started making sprite comics again. He agreed, and so the new SLW comic goes up on October 4th. You can see the teaser comic up on the site now.

So, once again — bored, have nothing to do, so I do something creative. I’ve been writing and recording 50/90 songs since July, which has kept me preoccupied, but I’ve recently finished and really don’t want to touch my guitar for a while, so I gotta do something. And sprite comics + NaNoWriMo in November seem like enough to do.

On a side note, though, there this website called CaptainN.net, which is one of the bigger and better sprite comic sites out there, and I joined their forums in 2003 to promote SLW. Well I came back after a two year absence to promote SLW again, and read on the front page that Webster, the guy who created the website and did a lot of the sprite ripping himself, died of a diabetic coma last February, which totally sucks. I didn’t even know him that well, but he was a good writer and a competent man and it’s sad that he died. This is why I wrote about being on the fringe of things … I was on the fringe of that forum, and I’m usually on the fringe of a lot of internet phenomena, unlike those people who spend hours upon hours on WoW or 4chan.

In closing, I would just like to say that I am a huge nerd. And I’m okay with that. SLW is funny, go read it and enjoy!

the future of joshco, ltd.

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So here’s a big thing that I am working on right now, in between job searching and playing with dogs: I’m paring down my song list to a CD-sized chunk that will take the place of the multitudinous amount of songs I have available for download right now. What does that mean? It means one album, free for download. All others will have to be purchased. I don’t know how that’s going to work out yet, cause purchase means iTunes, which means having money. So they probably won’t be available for a while.

Why am I doing this? Because I have too much stuff available for free. Not all of it is great, some of it is good, and I want to separate the good stuff from the mediocre and establish myself as a musician who is not afraid to sell his own music. I feel like right now people just grab my stuff for free and then that’s it. There’s no incentive for you to really listen, nor is there incentive for me to work harder to make my music better.

So here’s the breakdown:

  • There will be one “best of” (ugh, i hate that term) album that will be available for FREE on my website. It will be a Josh Belville CD. All other albums will be available for an EXTREMELY CHEAP purchase price (I’m talking, like, two bucks per album).
  • Right now, Songs for Summer and the Aaron Kiefer EP will be available for download THIS MONTH ONLY. After September 30th they will be removed and you will have to purchase them.
  • UPDATE: MORE SPECIFICALLY, the AK EP will only be up until FRIDAY NIGHT. So get it soon!
  • There will be no more sun city EPs, and the old sun city stuff will be removed. It was a good run but most of those songs became Josh Belville songs anyway.
  • Here Lies Laika will become a separate band, with its own website and info. For now the website is http://herelieslaika.blogspot.com. This band will be formed here in Portland, just as soon as I get the money and resources for it.
  • All other projects (Attaquin Beach, King of Trees, even Nogood Boyos) will be removed from the site. Again, they were incorporated into my stuff so they’re unnecessary.
  • The discography information for these albums will remain on my site, archived.

And that’s it.

I could really use some suggestions for songs on the Internet Album. I have a few songs that must go on there (Europa, City of Trees, the original Boise), but otherwise it’s all up in the air.

I know this all sounds kind of harsh, but it’s nearly impossible to get a bearing on how many people are listening to this stuff and actually like it enough to, say, keep it on their iPods. Plus I’d rather dole out quality over quantity.

So if you have any suggestions for songs, please either comment or send them to me at thelegionnaire (at) gmail (dot) com. Thank you!