Rap fan pays fine rather than listen to classical music
Sometimes I forget that the United States is run by old farts, but then a story like this pops up. So this kid, Andrew Vactor, gets fined for playing rap music in his car too loudly. First off, in what world do you get fined for playing music too loudly? I can understand if it’s at night and you’re at a rager, doing kegstands and fondling ladies you think are eighteen but really aren’t, but what if you’re just driving? It’s July, you’ve got the windows rolled down, and you’re pumping “Gin and Juice” on your new 40′ subwoofers as you ride down the street. Where’s the harm in that?
This had Old People written all over it. Old People are the only people who would even consider calling the police over such an “offense.”
“Yes, officer, I’d like to issue a complaint. There are a gang of negroes down the street just blasting their music. It’s so loud I can’t even hear Wheel of Fortune! I don’t know what letters the contestant are picking! How will I be able to solve the puzzle, officer? How will I be able to solve the puzzle?“
I’d like to know how this kid got fined. As in, where he was, what he was doing, etc. Did he get pulled over in his car? Was he at a parking lot, smoking a big-ass blunt with his homies? Was he in his house, blasting the music so that his parents wouldn’t hear him having sex with his underage girlfriend? Ohhhh, the possibilites are endless. The point is, the kid got fined for listening to music he likes.
I wonder how many grandpas get fined for turning their 45s of Benny Goodman all the way up to compensate for their hearing aid. Nothing like heairng the shrill wail of the clarinet blaring out of an old man’s house as he attempts to jitterbug with his walker. It’s hard to lindy hop with an artificial hip, isn’t it?
Here’s my point: People hate it when other people play loud music that they don’t like. Period. I would hate it if I heard Toby Keith’s latest pro-American anthem jangling down the street. Or if some middle-ages woman decided to fire up some Celine Dion while pruning her hedges. It would annoy the shit out of me. But I wouldn’t fine them! I wouldn’t get the police involved! That’s just ludicrous! That’s like if you walked down the street and saw a man wearing a bright dayglo green shirt and thought it was too “loud,” so you called the cops on him. You do, however, have the right to question that man’s sexuality, but you don’t fine him!
Now, the judge, Susan here, she thought she was witty. She thought, well, if he likes rap music, then I’ll make him listen to Beethoven! Really loud! That’ll get him. The idea being that if he listened to 20 hours of it, they’d reduce his fine.
What was Andrew’s response? He listened to it for fifteen minutes, gave up, and paid the full fine of $150. But it wasn’t the music that was the problem, it was that he had a basketball practice. Which makes me wonder — how were they making him listen to this music? Were they going to put him in a room, slap some headphones on him, and watch as he listened? For twenty hours? What good does that help anyone?
Here’s another point I’d like to make: No one hates classical music. You might say that you do, but really, how can you hate it? You might not like all of it, but you’ve got to admit, when that song for the Beef, It’s What’s For Dinner song comes on, you’re humming along. Or when Elmer Fudd sang “Kill the wabbit, kill the waaabbit,” in that one Warner Brother cartoon, you were digging it. Although that’s opera, which is a different thing altogether. Still, you can’t deny the universal appeal of Beethoven. He’s everywhere, even if you don’t know it.
Anyway … I love it when people attempt poetic justice and fail outright. This judge was like, “Here’s how he likes this!” and tried to make him listen to classical music and he was like, “Uh, no, here’s the money.” Shot down, judge lady! Try again!
Let’s also talk for a bit about the audacity of this judge to assume that the people she’s dealing with are narrow minded. From the article:
She’s also taped TV shows for defendants in other cases to watch on topics such as financial responsibility. As she sees it, they get the chance to have their fine reduced “and at the same time broaden their horizons.”
Emphasis mine. So what is she saying? That this Andrew kid is narrow-minded? Maybe Andrew listens to classical music all the time. Maybe he spends his evenings listening to Mozart while working on homework. Maybe he’s getting a degree in music … she has no right to assume that since he listens to rap music, loudly, in his car, his horizons are not “broad” enough. Maybe Andrew’s hobby is calligraphy. Or stuffing tiny ships into glass bottles. Or painting. Or wild forms of free verse poetry. She has no idea.
Why not, instead of “fighting fire with fire,” so to speak, why not just educate the kid in a more lenient way: give him classical music. Not in a condescending way, just in a friendly way. The kid gets busted for playing music too loud, so he goes to the judge, and she says, “I’m going to reduce your fine and give you some Beethoven to listen to.” Maybe the kid likes it, and he listens to Beethoven from now on. Maybe he hates it and throws it in the garbage the first chance he gets. Either way, considering the kid didn’t really do anything wrong to begin with, it doesn’t make sense to try and turn the tables like that.
What a stupid story.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go blast some Bach fugues from my Impala. Peace!
