Yes, folks, it’s time for change.  Barack Obama is president of the United States, gas prices are steadily falling, and I actually have a job.  I know, it looks weird to see it in text, staring me in the face.  But it’s true.  I am an official full-time employee.  I work 9 to 5 every weekday.  I probably have a lunch break somewhere in there.  I don’t make a salary but I make more an hour than I ever have before (which, if you knew what I made an hour prior, would make you pity me, I’m sure).

The grand irony is that I work with a bunch of potheads.  It’s all topsy turvy, man!  Black is white, up is down!  Fortunately they’re all really cool people.  They were at my house last night, in fact, when I came home from Buffy rehearsal and found out a party was happening.  It was some dude’s birthday.  All I know is that I ate like a king!  If kings eat buffalo wings, at least.

It’s been probably a year since I really smoked pot, too.  The party at NORML doesn’t count because I was more drunk than anything.  But last night I had two hits and was reminded how much I don’t like smoking pot.  Chances are it was potent stuff, but I spent most of the night being quiet and relatively melancholy.  I wasn’t sad, just … fuzzy.  I felt fuzzy.  Which would’ve been fine if I didn’t have a throbbing headache.  So I was talking to people on AIM with a headache and totally high.  I didn’t like it.

I guess I just have to be in the right situation to enjoy myself.  Oh well.  I feel kinda bad because it works so well for my brother but to each his own, I guess.  I’m just glad I could do it cause there’s no drug testing for me in the immediate future.  Thank god.

But it truly is the end of an era for this blog.  I’m not quitting or anything, don’t worry.  It’s just that when I started this blog on blogspot I was writing tons of posts about my hunting for a job and now I have one!  So I have to alter my intentions!  It just feels so strange!

December is becoming a quiet month for me.  Things are falling into place everywhere.  Next year is going to finally feel like I live (and belong) in Portland.  I can’t wait.

I was talking to Kira about finding jobs on Craigslist, and she mentioned something about finding theatre or film jobs there and I said, “Yeah, been there, done that.”

And as I was talking to her I saw this:

click it for larger image

And this was my face:

So naturally I sent a resume.

I’ve decided to start a new “feature” if you will on this blog, that I will call “What I’m Doing This Week.”  It’s partially an update to you, the gentle reader, but it’s also a selfish motivation on my part.  Why’s that?  Well, I can’t write about what I’m doing this week if I’m not actually doing anything.  This motivates me to do stuff, so that I have something to write about.  And it makes you happy because you get to read about me failing at stuff, and nothing is more entertaining to read than people failing at stuff.

Hey, before I begin though, just a quick favor to ask: if you like reading this blog, or going to my website, or maybe thinking of horrible jokes about me and my ridiculously orange hair, then I suggest you subscribe to my blog feed.  That way you can keep up with my posts, and I can get a semi-accurate number of how many people are reading.  And more people reading makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Like when an alligator eats a bear cub.

There are currently two links to subscribe: one next to my blog title up top and one below it.  The former one kinda sucks, so I suggest you use the one below it.  It has a handy drop down menu, allowing you to choose what you want to save the feed with (like Google Reader, Blogger, something else owned by Google, etc).  Subscribing to blog feeds is essentially going to run newspapers into the ground, and I for one say good riddance!  The world needs more trees, less paper.

My site has been getting more hits/pageviews this month than ever before, and I love it, but I always want more.  I’m like Hungry Mungry.  You know what I’m talking about.  Shel Silverstein?  Anyone?  Come on, don’t be douches here, everyone knows who Shel Silverstein is.  Wrote A Boy Named Sue?  Anyone?  A Boy Named Sue?  Only one of the most famous Johnny Cash songs ever?  … Okay, Ring of Fire is probably more famous, you’re right, but still.  It’s about a boy whose name is Sue!  That’s kinda funny, right?

Anyway, Hungry Mungry.  Come on now.

What I’m Doing This Week!  READ ON!

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Oh, silly acronyms, you have a special place in my heart.

To be quite blunt, I, Josh Belville, have been on the internet Far Too Much.  It dawned on me today as I signed up for LinkedIn, yet another in a growing trend of social networking sites.  When I signed up for it, I didn’t know anyone on it, and had to use other social networking sites, like Twitter and Facebook, to let people know that I had joined LinkedIn.  This broke something in my brain, and it melted.  My brain melted.

With that all in mind, I  just wanted to make a brief statement about what I’m going to do.  If you care, great.  If you don’t care, why the hell are you reading this in the first place?

National Novel Writing Month and National Solo Album Month are both in November.  I have signed up to do both.  Why?  Because I’m an idiot.  But having goals and deadlines is a good thing to have when most of your day is spent with four tabs open on your browser, each one on a different job website.  I feel like a vulture, circling an economy waiting to die for some scrap of food that will keep me going.  I mean, shit.  I went to an interview yesterday to recruit people to take surveys at movie theaters.  Surveys at movie theaters.  A monkey dressed like a human could do a job like that.  A mentally-challenged ostrich could do a job like that.  Hell, a mime could do it.  And yet they haven’t called me back.

This leads me to one invaluable-yet-surprising conclusion:  I have a terrible presence at face-to-face interviews.  Which is unsettling, and is something I have to work on.

But that’s not why I’m writing this entry.  I’m writing because I’m setting some goals for myself.  Primary is, as always, to get a job (preferably one I like).  The second goal is one 50,000 word novel and one 15-track album created in November.  And the third goal is No Internet.  No Facebook, no Myspace, no Twitter for November, and potentially for the rest of the year.  I think all I’ll do is write the occasional blog for this site, and update my website with NaNo and NaSo stuff, and regular music stuff like shows I might get.  That sounds about right.

I think I’m going to start this tomorrow after I promote Songs for Autumn.  I’m going to promote, promote, promote, and then it’s radio silence (mostly) for a month.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Jason’s horribly slanderous comment on a particular Facebook status of mine has reminded me that I should probably write a little update regarding my job hunting.

In short, the news is good.  Trying to find a job through Craigslist is kind of like navigating a maze, complete with dead ends, odd twists and turns, and the occasional axe-wielding psychopath.  The sad thing though is that it’s easier to navigate than CareerBuilder or Monster, which have become bloated, egomaniacal worthless shells of what they once were, and should be now.  CL is good because it just shows me jobs.  CareerBuilder wants me to sign up for things, or wants to recommend jobs for me because it thinks it’s better than me.  Well you’re not, CareerBuilder.  I am better than you, for I am a human and you are a program on the internet.

I’ve sent lots of e-mail replies, and in doing so have experimented with proper e-mail responses.  Too much information or too little?  Should I put my name in there as soon as possible, or just leave it at the end of the e-mail?  Should I tell them I’m not wearing pants?  Surely at some point in the sit down interview they will notice.  All of these questions raced through my head as I sent reply after reply.  To anyone.  From dishwashers to manufacturers to tutors and gardeners.  I tried not to send replies to positions in which I had no experience, but sometimes I get desperate.  I sent no replies to telemarketers or appointment setters, and none to sales.  The thing about these jobs is that they will always hire you, because they’re the worst jobs, in that they require you to manipulate people to buy things they probably didn’t want to buy in the first place.  And that’s just wrong.

At some point I got really fed up with this process.  Why, the fuck, on websites, do I have to upload a resume AND fill out an application?  Why?  Why Safeway?  Why Rivermark Credit Union?  Why Barnes & Noble?  Don’t you take my word for it?  Do you not see the resume I have graciously uploaded for you?

Listen, employers: this is ridiculous, redundant, and really annoying.  If someone uploads a resume to your application process, they should be able to skip your application process.  They should be able to put “see resume” on there, just like they do on paper applications.  Stop being thoughtless jerks.  The last thing I want to do is memorize phone numbers for jobs I don’t work at anymore, for the sole purpose of not shooting my brains out after typing them in the nth online application.

Anyhoo.  So after a month of job surfing, I finally got a response.  A good one, too.  I think my reply was probably one of my “late stage” replies, which consists of me not giving a crap about my response, which ironically increases my appeal to employers.  Something about being suave, or … I don’t know.  I don’t care.  If I think about it I’ll jinx it.

(For the record, I have three stages of e-mail replies to potential employers: 1) Early Stage, which is where I am chipper and quick; 2) Late Stage, where I am long-winded and somewhat cynical; and 3) Dead Stage, where I say “Hey, I am interested in your job, here’s my resume” and that’s it.)

The job is with an online bookseller.  It is not Powells.  They, I think, buy books from people and sell them used.  Either way, they must’ve liked my e-mail (and now that I look at it in my glorious, glorious Gmail account, I was quite confident, almost to the point of cockiness).  I got a call for a phone interview, which was this morning around 11:30.  I bumbled my way through it, I thought, but the whole thing sounded exactly like the Hastings interview I did two years ago, so I knew what I was expecting.

At the end of the interview the lady said, “Well, we’ve got a couple more days of interviews, so we’ll get in contact with you,” which I expected.

Then, fifteen minutes later, she called back for a face-to-face interview on Wednesday. This I did not expect.

… Okay, I expected it a little bit.

Plus, in her e-mail to me giving me directions to the place, she wrote, “I enjoyed our phone conversation today regarding the Part-Time Shipping Associate Position”, which I’m pretty sure means that she’s into me.  Since I’m considering the phone conversation to be our first date, I think I’ll take her to a movie.  Maybe see some Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

(If you’re reading this, bookseller lady, I’m just kidding, and your bookstore looks like a great place to work.  Also, do you like pasta?  You do?  Great.  … What?  Oh, I’m just curious.  No, I’m writing something else completely unrelated to pasta into this notebook.  It’s a … uh, a note.  For a friend.  Who likes pasta.  I mean doesn’t like pasta.  I mean has nothing to do with pasta.)

Anyway, that’s it.  I plan on going to this interview on Wednesday and knocking some socks off, whatever the hell that means.  Wish me luck!