(my apologies for not updating my blog as much as i would prefer. i haven’t been very interesting lately, i must admit.  i will write a blog about FAWM later.)

Anyway, is there really any difference between imagination and reality? How do you know?

This is a really fun question to think about. I have a couple theories. There’s this idea in quantum physics that there are an infinite number of parallel universes that mirror our own. If that’s the case, then there is no difference between imagination and reality, because infinity implies everything; that is, if it can be imagined, then there is a universe in which it exists (think rule 34 but for the universe). So there is a universe where unicorns exist, a universe where Rush Limbaugh is a decent fellow, and a universe where you are the opposite gender that you are currently.

Moreso, my belief is that if you can imagine these things, then you are not really imagining, but tapping into those alternate realities. So when you imagine a unicorn, you’re actually linked with a parallel universe in which unicorns exist.

Of course, this really nerfs the idea of imagination, but I don’t mind. I like the concept of all things existing at all times, but us being only fixed into one thing at one time, probably because that’s all our consciousness will allow. I suppose when we die we ascend to a new level of consciousness where we can perceive all realities at once. This also relates to the theory of our “soul” being energy, and our energy transferring into all things when we die. It’s just that we transcend the third dimension at that point — we become space AND time, and perhaps much more.

So, in theory, death could be the merging of ALL consciousness, of those who died at least. As much as I enjoy having my own identity, the idea of being a part of Everything seems incredibly cool, too.

This also relates to the idea of “Heaven/Hell,” or reward or punishment for our earthly deeds — that is, when we are alive, we are striving for this higher consciousness that potentially awaits us in death. HOW we strive to achieve that is what religion becomes: a system of dogma and guidelines for preparing your soul for the afterlife, for the acceptance of higher consciousness. If we do not prepare our souls, then we do not achieve this higher consciousness (Heaven) and we become … nothing? (Purgatory) or something worse (Hell).

Ahhhh, I fuckin love this stuff!

Formspring is a website where people ask you anonymous questions and you answer them.  For some it’s a place to be funny, but for me, apparently, it’s become my True Calling; people have been asking me all kinds of Serious Shit.  So I figured since I don’t update this enough, I will post some answers I’ve given to questions.  I think this one is a good start because it might as well be a blog post all its own.

Also if you want to ask questions, do not hesitate!  I answer every single one of them.  http://www.formspring.me/zornog

Oh yeah I have that little widget to the left too I forgot about that.  Anyway!

how do you deal with loss?

I tend to get very stoic. This is a trait, I think, that I inherited from my mother. I’ve been very lucky in that not very many people close to me have died, save for my grandpa and grandma. My grandpa Jack had a very unexpected stroke when I was young. Jack was a busy guy, he owned horses and a small ranch, and was always working. He had served in WWII as an engineer in Australia, building bridges. He severed the tip of one of his fingers and I remember he had what looked to me to be a bit of bone that stuck out of his finger. I always thought that was awesome.

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I’ve signed up for Script Frenzy.

As an intrepid and inspired Martin Lawrence once said, “This shit just got real.”

It is February (or Febyewary for those of you too lazy to pronounce things correctly), and I am swamped.  The show that I’ve been rehearsing since January has finally opened.  I think this Twitter post sums up the night:

First show done! The audience was drunk and I finally realized how much of a villain I am! Eeeexcellent

Our opening night house¹ was bought by some special interest group called Just Portland.  They imbibed copious amounts of wine and had what I can only imagine was the worst/most awkward talkback ever (talkbacks are usually held after the show, to talk about the show — this one was before the show, and lord knows what they talked about.  The weather?).  They were nice and sauced when we came on stage.  Regarding the “villain” part … well I could clearly tell within the first couple of scenes that no one was buying my shit whatsoever.  It threw me for a second — I started to wonder, “Are they laughing at my acting or because I’m such a bastard?”  This was around scene 3; by the second act I knew they were laughing because they were drunk and weren’t putting up with my nonsense.  I realized, then, that I was the villain in this play.

I should state, too, that they weren’t laughing all of the time — it’s just the laughter that threw me off at first.  There are some genuinely funny parts in the play, but most of the laughter was the snide kind that you hear from someone who thinks you’re a total asshole.

It’s great cause it means I can let go –I have my own feelings about my character, about how I’m “misguided” but a good person inherently, but you know what?  People aren’t going to see that.  I’m doing my best to keep as far away from melodrama as possible, but the truth is that I’m a villain and a hypocrit.  And that’s that.

So that’s what I’m doing with my weekend.  Besides tweeting about random stuff I do during the day, of course.  Oh, and I guess my picture was in the Oregonian’s lifestyle section on Thursday, which would mark the first time my face has ever been in a major newspaper, unless you count that time I raped those kids.  But that was the front page, baby.

As for FAWM, I’m still working on it.  I plan on recording stuff on the days (nights, really) when I’m not doing the show.  And on the weekend.  My other projects are still very active — Test Comic will come back this Monday, FAWM is still a go (I just restrung my guitars!).  Umm … if I get a chance I will play my FAWM songs at an open mic somewhere.  You know, cool stuff like that.  Oh, and the website work is still in progress.  joshuabelville.com is pretty much done except for small pages.  Now I just have to redesign zornog.net… it’ll take time.

So that’s that!  I will try to update this more often now, but I suggest that you follow me on Twitter if you haven’t already, because I update a lot more there (especially if I’m out and about).  This is primarily because I have no friends and am a la-hoo-se-herr.

Another year, another list of albums that I listened to and enjoyed this year.  I was going to write a short review about each album but I’ll let other sites do that.

10. Amanda Palmer – Who Killed Amanda Palmer?

9. Ben Folds – Way to Normal

8. Final Fantasy – Pays to Please EP / Spectrum, 14th Century EP

7. Vampire Weekend – s/t

6. Lykke Li – Youth Novels

5. Hercules & Love Affair – s/t

4. The Mountain Goats – Heretic Pride / Black Pear Tree EP / Satanic Messiah EP

3. M83 – Saturdays = Youth

2. Fleet Foxes – s/t / Sun Giant EP

1. The Dodos – Visiter