Formspring is a website where people ask you anonymous questions and you answer them.  For some it’s a place to be funny, but for me, apparently, it’s become my True Calling; people have been asking me all kinds of Serious Shit.  So I figured since I don’t update this enough, I will post some answers I’ve given to questions.  I think this one is a good start because it might as well be a blog post all its own.

Also if you want to ask questions, do not hesitate!  I answer every single one of them.  http://www.formspring.me/zornog

Oh yeah I have that little widget to the left too I forgot about that.  Anyway!

how do you deal with loss?

I tend to get very stoic. This is a trait, I think, that I inherited from my mother. I’ve been very lucky in that not very many people close to me have died, save for my grandpa and grandma. My grandpa Jack had a very unexpected stroke when I was young. Jack was a busy guy, he owned horses and a small ranch, and was always working. He had served in WWII as an engineer in Australia, building bridges. He severed the tip of one of his fingers and I remember he had what looked to me to be a bit of bone that stuck out of his finger. I always thought that was awesome.

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jello puddin pops

Here is a picture of me from New Years Eve.  The caption is there because sometimes, in the right light, I look like I’m doing a Bill Cosby impression.

Here are a few updates from my life:

1. I have started running.  By “started” I mean I literally started today; I ran/walked for about 20 minutes.  I have started a blog about this, and you can read it here: Josh Goes A’Running.  I won’t write about it here, though.  This blog is for self-deprecation and my strange mental patterns.

2. February Album Writing Month is next month (obviously), and I am participating.  I suggest that if you want to listen to the songs I create, you head to my profile there, as I am not going to update my blog about it, because that just seems redundant.  Also, if you are a songwriter or have ever wanted to be a songwriter, I suggest you sign up!  It’s an amazing community full of professionals and amateurs (and people like me, somewhere in the middle), who are all extremely helpful and kind.  It’s almost annoying how nice they are!  If you do sign up, say hello on my soundboard thingy and I will certainly listen or read your stuff!

3. I’m thinking about dumping the joshuabelville.com website.  This will be done because it seems awkward to run two completely separate websites, when all of the good stuff is here on this site.  My new plan is to merge the webspace together (as I had separated it earlier) and just forward joshbelville.com to zornog.net, or perhaps to a subdomain on zornog.net.  What do you think?  Do you even give a shit?¹

4. There is no four.

I said that I would update this blog more and I have been lax about even that, and I apologize.  Truth is, not much is going on in my life right now besides working and watching every episode of 30 Rock on Netflix.  C’est la vie!

It’s 2010.  I would have to say that 2009 was a lot of things to me.  It was freedom, and yet more ensnarement.  It was love and it was loss.  I gained new friends, found new places, heard new bands, and every day was one day pulling at my roots to Boise.  And now it’s 2010 and when I look back at 2009 I don’t have much to show for it.  I’m still working at THCF, I spend my days working and my nights doing little.  Too much internet, not enough creativity.  My love life ground to a halt, and this year has been spent searching for some kind of ideal woman that doesn’t exist.  My professional ideals, music and acting, are nonexistent.  I did that show in February and have pretty much lost all connections I made from it.  I spend a lot of my time holed up in my room playing video games.  I don’t remember which ex-girlfriend of mine said that video games were horrible because they kept you from living your life¹, but it seems to be ringing true here.

So let’s talk about resolutions.  What I resolve to do in this year.  I looked at my resolutions for 2009 and I’ve failed every single one of them.  It’s never been that bad before.  I don’t know what happened, but by becoming less rooted in Boise, I have become more introverted in Portland.

I really only have two resolutions: work out and rock out.  The work out part is self-explanatory: I, like every other unhealthy person in America, am going to attempt to get back into shape.  Right now this is difficult because I have no desire to do this whatsoever.  Quite the opposite — I want to drink soda and eat burgers all day.  Some say people battle depression by drinking alcohol, but for me it’s soda.  In a way it’s good because it means I don’t get to become an alcoholic, but it’s also dangerous because I’ll get diabetes.  So, yeah.

The rock out part is just a funny way of saying I’m going to try and play more music, whether it be live or not.  I really haven’t been feeling creative lately, and it sucks.

I also resolve to update this blog more often, which could be dangerous because I don’t do anything blog-worthy.  Unless you want entries about how good Bioshock is², then maybe a few blogs a month is good enough.

I’m not going to go into detail about why I feel shitty.  That’s the stuff of LiveJournals and other locked away journals.  This blog is about the good stuff going on in my life, stuff that people want to read about.  So I should probably just delete this entry and move along.

But I won’t.  Cause I promised I’d update.

Happy New Year, everybody.

I haven’t updated this blog in over two months.  My primary reason is because I never finished the fourth day of my Musicfest NW excursion.  I don’t know why, it just felt silly to write it at the time.  I had a great time and all, but the memory seemed too personal to be shared across the internet.  I know that doesn’t make sense, considering the amount of personal shit I spout on this blog, but there was something about being in the East End’s basement, getting pissed off at the drunkards who were ruining Church’s set, and then entering some kind of weird trance listening to Finn Riggins, that made me unable to articulate just how much fun I had on Saturday.  I had fun on the other days too, don’t get me wrong, but Saturday was like some kind of capper, a night that transcended your average music listening night for me.

Maybe that sounds pretentious.  I don’t care.  It was my experience, not yours, and I don’t expect you to understand how I felt at the time.  After being in the Rose City for a year and trying desperately to call it home, I finally felt home that night, and it felt good.

With that said, I promise I will blog more.

I am doing the Most Nerdiest Thing right now: DMing a D&D game.  It’s a lot of fun so far.  If you want to read more about it (and the custom campaign setting I’m developing), I suggest you head to our Obsidian Portal site.  If you’re into that sort of thing.

I love you all, thank you for reading and listening and being my friend.  It means a lot to me!

Boy, I really let this fall by the wayside, didn’t I?  Long time readers will find no surprise in that.

Friday night started late again; Paul and I were determined to get some sleep before we headed out to a very long night of music.  I ended up taking a two hour nap, but Paul wasn’t as fortunate (this totally makes us sound gay, like we were sleeping in the same bed or something.  We weren’t, but if it makes you feel better to imagine that we were, that’s fine.), so I was nice and refreshed and he was still a little bleh.  We found ourselves getting food instead of seeing the 8pm bands (we hadn’t heard of any of them).  Food was sushi.  A quick tangent¹ about sushi: I love it.  I grew up hating seafood.  I still do, really.  In landlocked states, fish is smelly and disgusting, having been frozen for some time.  Once you get over the cascades, it generally tastes better.  I can eat salmon, because there is fresh salmon in Idaho, but other than that, get it away from me.  Lobsters, shrimp, etc?  No way, dudes.  I don’t want to eat ocean bugs.

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